Why I'm Doing This

Why did I decide to serve a mission? Why leave your family for a year and a half to live in a foreign country where I barely speak the language and can only communicate with my family through email and letters? It's the question all who go on missions ask themselves. Especially sister missionaries because we don't have the same pressure to go as the Elders. Therefore the question of, "is this what Heavenly Father wants for me?" isn't as clear. However, no matter who you are its definitely a decision to take seriously.

Honestly I've always wanted to go. I'm an extrovert to a T and people have told me since I was a child that I would be a good missionary. Also my parents had been subconsciously preparing since I could talk by saying things like:


 "When you're on your mission you won't be able to say 'I don't want this for dinner'"

or 

"Don't knock 50 times on someone's door! On your mission you'd annoy people so much they won't listen to your message".


Excellent Dad. I'll keep that in mind...and I did!


I also thought I had to, just like the boys, and by the time I realized that wasn't the case it was too late. I was determined to go because the feminist inside of me couldn't let the boys have all the fun. I even stubbornly told my mom that I was going to demand the church let me serve for 2 years instead of 18 months. Yeah...


Then as I got older I wanted to go because it's a great opportunity to possibly travel the world and learn an exciting language.

Notice the "member missionary" name tag. I still have it somewhere.

In high school my motivations changed. I attended school with lots of kids from a variety of backgrounds who were obviously lost. There was one particular incident where a girl I did not like was obviously having a bad day. She was dealing with things at home that I couldn't even imagine. 

Because I had never really liked her my initial response was that she deserved it. I sat there thinking (this is embarrassing to admit) that there was no way that Heavenly Father could love someone like her. Then I was struck with the idea that this was WRONG! I was thoroughly, spiritually chastised right in the middle of 9th grade history. 

I thought about that all day and suddenly realized how grateful I was for my testimony of Heavenly Father, the Restoration and other aspects of the gospel. I also realized that because I am so grateful I wanted others to feel the same way, even people I didn't understand. 

And so I went to college, watched all the boys leave for their missions at age 19 and patiently waited to be 21. All the while I annoyed everybody by talking about how I couldn't wait to go. 

Then I turned 21!!!! And I immediately put in my papers and everything was going according to plan.  

False. Life happened. Some things were in my control and some things were not. Soon I began to wonder if Heavenly Father even wanted me to go. The idea was devastating because it was something I had looked forward to my whole life.

However, the experience taught me that if you put your life in the Lord's hands, even if you've made a mistake, everything will workout. I love that fact.

Finally, last August I told my parents I would pray about whether or not I should go. I told them I would make my final decision at the end of the semester. As usual, it didn't go as planned. The whole first week I prayed I kept coming across people and stories about missions that were so spiritual and inspiring. I called my parents and told them I needed to start my papers ASAP!

Next time...the insane smooth process of putting in my papers!